Help
by Teddybearanime
Summary: It hurts. If I said I hated him, he wouldn't care. Would he? Why can't he just pay attention? I hate that I love him. And I hate that I hate that I love him. Triangle but overall Haruhi x Kyon
1. Chapter 1

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Help.**

**Chapter: 1- Introduction**

**Hm... This is another one of my Hurt/Comforts.**

**So. I hope that me being a newbie to Haruhi Suzumiya fanfics is welcomed.**

**Meh. That's too formal... Let's get it started!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I, Teddybearanime, do not own this anime. Goes to rightful owners. If I **_**did**_** own it. I'd hurry with the next season!**

~Haruhi's POV~

I hated it.

I hated not knowing _who_ I even was anymore.

I hated this pain.

But most of all.

I hated how I had fallen for... _Him._

He never paid _me_ attention.

Instead I was _always_ chasing _him._

It hurt.

He'd pay attention to everyone else.

But with him.

_I_ had to fight for it.

It's always been this way with everyone.

They'd leave me.

I looked at my wrist just for one second.

Noone knew.

Well except Yuki who actually found out.

And me telling her to just forget about it. Pleading actually.

I don't want anyone to help me.

That's a lie...

I've become lies.

But.

I did.

Last year.

Ask for help.

Just once.

Hoping _he_ would take the note to help a bit.

Yes. It was last year.

I.. Just asked.

'How would you feel if I died?'

And he simply said,

'I'd be very sad. Besides, you shouldn't just throw your life away.'

Him.

Kyon.

It still hurt.

He didn't bother with it anymore.

He didn't ask me out.

Maybe loneliness has been added...

Anyway.

Yeah, sure, those words, his little worry- which I bet.

Was just pity.

It gave me a boost.

Just a little one though.

He only worried a little.

He asked me after lunch.

If I was okay.

Or it was the next day...

I don't know.

Don't care anymore.

I faked a smile anyway.

But yet.

I'm still chasing.

I sighed, done getting ready.

School.

Another day of Hell.

~At School~

I closed my locker.

And sighed.

Why the Hell am I _actually _thinking of this at school?!

Usually my head is filled with crazy ideas at school!

I faked a smile and walked to my class.

Today.

Today I can't pay mind to Kyon.

Not today.

Today has to be good.

But my eyes drifted to him.

He _did_ sit infront of me.

Under my breath, I growled.

I hated how I loved him.

I hated that I hated that I loved him.

I hated that I hated that I hated that I loved him.

That's right Haruhi.

Just try and make yourself smile.

I groaned, stupid teacher.

Yes. Just keep your mind on school.

Why'd _it _-yes _it_- have to pass out homework?!

I glared, but not directly to the teacher, teachers oh so love me.

I must keep that trust so that I may manipulate it.

I smiled, and took my homework.

From Kyon...

Ugh.

There's a club meeting today as well.

I'll go to the bathroom.

Cut.

Then be late there depending on how deep I do.

I yawned, and listened to it talk.

So boring.

So very boring.

No.

Don't..

Don't...

Don't...

I pinched my arm and looked at my work.

Then at the clock.

Almost over.

I can just do this work at home.

Ok teacher, just _keep_ talking.

_Keep_ talking.

The bell then rang.

I smiled, and grabbed my stuff.

Then went to the bathroom.

Noones here.

Good.

I took out my eyebrow razor and cut a bit.

First it was my arm, then my wrist.

The pain made me forget the emotional pain.

I liked it.

How it could make me forget the emotional.

Yes.

I know.

The wrist is a main artery.

One wrong move and it could all be over.

Wouldn't that be a _right_ move though?

Yet. How am I scared?

Hm.

I never cut too far though.

I opened my eyes.

And saw blood.

Almost oozing blood.

I started to panic a bit.

But cleaned it up, and stopped the bleeding.

... 20 minutes late.

Clean up your face, Haruhi.

You actually let tears fall.

I bitterly smiled, and cleaned up.

20 minutes late.

I'm sure noone will notice!

**Haruhi's a bit OCC huh? But basically she **_**has**_** been through alot of pain in this fanfic.**

**But! I hope you all enjoyed! **

**Oh! **

**I'm gonna put up a 'World is Mine' Haruhi fanfic up!**

**Perfect for **_**her**_**, huh? **

**As for couples.**

**Itsuki's involved.**

**Please review!**

**And put up if you want Itsuki to be with Mikaru or Yuki~! At first it's gonna be a triangle with KyouxHaruhixItsuki!**

**Drama~ Romance~ Hurt/Comfort~ **

**This is too long...**

**Bye~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Haruhi Suzumiya: Help**

**Chapter: 2- Odd**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya.**

**A/N: I'm so late. So late. I... Am so sorry guys. *Is in emo corner typing this* PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! *Falls on big stuffed monkey bear* I want a kitty bear... On with the chapter.**

**40iot0o04040_-****)))(((()+_#o9-=324""""""''{{{{[;;;;;{{{{;;;}}}~~~~**

~Haruhi's POV~

I walked in with a humongous smile on my face, looked at Mikuru, approvingly- noting she had her outfit on.

"Yo. Mikuru. Can you go get some of that pocky cake we had last time? It was awesome!" I asked her, and then complimented her. "You made it right?"

She flushed, and nodded- with a squeak.

She's so _sweet _that it's _sick._

"Oh~!" I squealed, and plugged myself on her. "You're too cute that it's sick!"

She tried getting away from my vice-grip, but to no avail.

I patted the ginger's head.

"Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat."

Koizumi laughed and shook his head, Yuki just simply read her book.

And Kyon.

Kyon glared.

I _don't_ know why. But, today, I'm gonna _not_ care.

You hear me Kyon? Today I am _not_ going to care about your dissaproving glares.

Not one bit.

Yet, somehow, my eyes went downcast.

And I let go of Mikuru.

"H-Haruhi-san?" She squeaked.

"H-hey! It would be nice to get that pocky cake right now! Bring me chocolate, kay?" I proudly looked at her.

She stared, then walked off- probably to the store. Or something. Seeing that she didn't make one today she'll probably just go buy one.

I shrugged my way to our prized computer and opened files.

Instead of going to find anything big today. How 'bout Ms. Nice Cupcake Haruhi plan- something... Different.

"Gonna need stupid lessons from Mikuru..." I muttered to myself, not knowing I even muttered it aloud.

"A stupid dress..." I muttered, again- not even knowing.

"And... Something _else_. Like what?" I muttered.

"Like some make-up?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Proba- wait. _Wha-?!"_ I yelled out, and anime-style almost flipped out my chair.

I looked up and met _those_ eyes.

Kyon.

I glared.

He smirked.

Why are you smirking... When you were glaring earlier?

I was smart enough this time, and asked it silently.

"_Geez_! You really outta stay outta people's business! Don't just walk up on people like that!" I yelled, then added. "Baka!"

I probably ruined chances of talking to him for a while, but who cares.

"You're the baka," he said, but then stared at me. "Someting's... Different about you today."

What?

And I said that aloud.

He shook his head. "Just... Something's... Odd."

I just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Nevermind. Forget it," he said, then went to sit across from Koizumi. I looked at Koizumi and noted he was setting up the game that they usually played.

Can't they play something different? I wish they would- sometimes I just look at what they're doing from under my computer screen, and they get boring.

All of a sudden, Koizumi stopped, and grabbed cards instead.

He gave Kyon atleast half of the stack and declared aloud,

"I Declare War."

I just stared, it was like he read my thoughts or something.

I felt a small chill, and just went back to what I was doing.

But... I do have to say. Koizumi is always there for me... He's creepy... But nice..

Mikuru came back in with a small smile, and put the cake on the table.

"I'm back... Do you want it cut now?" She asked.

I decided to pull a Yuki on her.

I looked up at her, nodded, and went back to my screen, then hid a giggle as she looked at me in confusion- but proceeded to cut the cake.

She handed a piece to me, Yuki, Koizumi and Kyon.

I looked at my piece of cake. Chocolate neatly covering the top of the yellow cake. It was bland, but delicious.

I smiled and ate the piece.

Yuki had chocolate, Mikuru had strawberry, as did Kyon, and Koizumi had chocolate.

Strawberry chocolates are good, aren't they?

~Mikuru's POV~

I glanced at Koizumi and Kyon, then Yuki.

They were all doing their normal, everyday activities.

Yuki; Reading. Kyon and Koizumi; Playing a game.

Today, for Haruhi finding their everyday game boring, they were playing some sort of old game.

It was silent, Haruhi wasn't making any noise- this... I don't know. I don't know why she isn't.

I shook it out of my head, they didn't tell me anyway. So I wouldn't know.

I frowned slightly, because she seemed off.

"H-hey, Koizumi-san, Kyon-kun," I spoke up.

They looked at me.

"W-what are you guys playing?" I asked them.

"I Declare War," Koizumi smiled, and set down a card.

Kyon set down his card.

"It's a game where you see who gets the most cards, set down a card- if the number's bigger, than the person who layed out the bigger number wins the cards," Kyon explained, bringing in his winning's.

I continued to watch from then on.

~Koizumi's POV~

Mikuru's eyes followed from me to Kyon and she watched us play.

i grabbed my winning's and looked at Kyon's stack. I had way more.

I decided to just wrap it up, and won.

His face was amusing, I had to laugh at him.

He glared, Haruhi then jumped up.

"Dismissed everyone," she stated, and waited for us to leave.

I waited with her instead.

"Hey. I said everyone's dismissed. Don't disobey your brigade leader," she glared at me.

"Haruhi, hey. We've never been to the mall," I breezed her off, with an apoletic-don't-hurt-me-amused smile. "Let's all go Saturday."

"Eh?!" She glared at me. "Who makes the plans here? _I_ do!"

I blinked.

"But it's not a bad idea. Fine. Let's go. Tell everyone 1:45PM. No later, got it?"

I blinked again and smiled, with a nod.

She then nodded, approvingly at me, and started to walk.

"Comin'?" She turned her head back to me.

I smiled, and walked with her.

She does seem off today...

I... Guess the only thing I can do... I'll just...

I'll just keep smiling for her.

**40iot0o04040_-****)))(((()+_#o9-=324""""""''{{{{[;;;;;{{{{;;;}}}~~~~**

**I. Am. So. Sorry. And so grateful for all these reviews! So I hate myself for not updating earlier ;.; Sorry~! But to the reviews!**

**User 627- Aheh. You sound like Kyon! Sorry XD But you do~ And thanks for the review ;w; Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**linkkirby8692- Well... That would be a pretty dramatic love... Sqaure XD But... I'm rather shipping KyonxHaruhi- sorry if you don't like! But thanks for the review- and Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**Guest- THANK YOU! Someone who notices my brilliance w Thanks for the review! Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**YudAida- Thanks! :3 I love Love Triangles too w Thanks for the review! Rhyme XD Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**Cruoren- Sorry ^^' I knew it was- this one isn't as much OOC is it? But thanks for the review! Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**LeMak: Thanks so much! :D I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for the review! Magic Cupcake or Cookie?**

**Kaizen Kitty: Sorry! o This isn't KyonxItsuki... But I could make one? Just nothing M rated... But. Thanks for the review, hope you enjoyed. And Magic Cupcake or Cookie.**

**I hope you all enjoyed! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note! Ha, I've practically been dead, huh? Sorry... I'm grounded and even right now I'm using my Uncle's PS3 to even be able to do anything. My parents are really strict so I don't think I'm even supposed to be using this other than for Netflix... I'll probably get my cpu back when I go back... Home. I don't plan to anytime soon. So I'm really sorry to you all. Update in the Fall? Haha... I rhymed...**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Help**

**Chapter: 3**

**I'm so sorry everyone! The reason I got grounded or whatevs is because my closet wasn't clean, so my stepdad took everything in my closet and threw it everywhere in my room and took my laptop, I'm just getting it back- I was upset with him because he **_**said to my face**_** he didn't care if I was mad at him- after I made-up with him. But anyway. I'm updating~!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Haruhi.**

**jer290390844-1329=324909-_ (_ )(( )(#(!)(((((((#)#))#_((#)I(#)(#)))#()_JOSIHJ(NDHIDM H**

_Where we were last:_

_"Haruhi, hey. We've never been to the mall," I breezed her off, with an apoligetic-don't-hurt-me-amused smile. "Let's all go Saturday."_

_"Eh?!" She glared at me. "Who makes the plans here? I do!"_

_I blinked._

_"But it's not a bad idea. Fine. Let's go. Tell everyone 1:45PM. No later, got it?"_

_I blinked again and smiled, with a nod._

_She then nodded, approvingly at me, and started to walk._

_"Comin'?" She turned her head back to me._

_I smiled, and walked with her._

_She does seem off today..._

_I... Guess the only thing I can do... I'll just..._

_I'll just keep smiling for her._

~Haruhi's POV~

After the hard week of school, I woke up joyfully to my empty house. Today the brigade was going to the mall!

Ok, so it musn't seem like much, but still. I shouldn't be fangirling over such nonsense. So I got up from the warmth of the covers, that were calling for me to stay, and walked to the bathroom to brush my hair, teeth and wash my face.

I finally felt more awake and went to my closet.

What should I wear, what should I wear?

I settled for a yellow long-sleeved shirt, and a blue skirt with white shoes and a yellow ribbon for my hair. I grabbed my white purse with a grumble.

I then threw my clothes on and smiled, "I'm leaving!" I yelled to the empty, dark house and ran out.

This should be a good day!

~Kyon's POV~

Damnnn. I overslept.

*Flashback 5 minutes ago Normal POV*

"Kyon! Kyon! Wake-up sleepy head! Lazy butt! Dumby!"

Kyon stirred in his sleep and opened his eyes slowly.

"Hey! Idiot!"

-Is that Haruhi?- He thought in his head and shot up. "Don't call me an idiot you fucki-" He stopped his insult once he say his sister on the ground, rubbing her back.

"Don't just jump up, idiot!" She squealed and ran out of the room.

*Flashback done, Kyon's POV~

I groaned, and put my feet on the floor.

Damn, if I'm late- Haruhi's gonna throw a fucking fit.

I yawned, and stood up. Grabbing a yellow t-shirt, blue jeans and socks I walked to the bathroom.

After getting ready, I walked to the door and put my shoes on.

"Where're you going?" My sister asked.

"To a really boring place," I replied.

"I wanna go!"

"To a boring place?"

"Yes!"

"Really?"

"Mhm."

I sighed, damn she's persistant. "No."

She looked like she was going to start crying.

"Ugh, but you know what? I'll bring you some ice cream back," I said, looking away. As annoying as she was, I don't like seeing her cry.

She smiled, "okay!"

"Okay, I'm leaving!" I pat her head and ran out the door. I heard a faint 'don't come home dead' and was on my way.

~Haruhi's POV~

"Hey Itsuki, where's Mikuru and Yuki?" I asked, finding that there were two absent bodies.

"Asahina-san came down with a cold, and Yuki had other plans," he smiled at me.

I oh'd and we started small conversation. Kyon then interrupted that when he came strolling up to us.

I looked at him, then his outfit, then back up to him with a small blush.

We were actually matching! Oh, ugh, Haruhi! There you go again, fangirling over small things.

I shook my head and walked up to him.

"Late! As penalty! You buy everything that Itsuki and I want for today!" I said in my demanding voice.

He rolled his eyes and muttered a shut up, I was going to intterogate him on that when Itsuki interrupted.

"Hey! Let's just go in already! Here, I'll pay for the first thing that we do, we can go get something to eat!" He said, awkwardly.

I glared, but then pouted and scoffed.

"Ok! But since you so rudely interrupted!" I started, and he laughed awkwardly. "I want to eat at the finest resteraunt here!"

I then walked off to find one, and they slowly followed behind.

~Kyon's POV~

I rolled my eyes as we were seated in a small booth next to a window. Haruhi smiled proudly and evily and Itsuki just had on his usual smile. I'm pretty sure he has alot of money, but he had better take it easy when he picks out what he wants.

"Hey. Where's Ms. Asahina and Yuki?" I asked, more concerned about Mikuru.

Haruhi looked at me, was that envy? She covered that well with a nonchalent look.

"Mikuru's sick," she seemed to have a small joke with that. "And Yuki's busy."

I nodded my head.

She just rolled her eyes and looked at the menu.

A waitress came over and asked if we wanted to start off with any drinks, Haruhi asked for a water, Itsuki smiled at her and asked for the same, and I declined.

She came back and asked if we were ready to order.

"Nahh. Can ya give us a few more moments?" Haruhi asked "sweetly" and the waitress nodded. Haruhi took a drink of her water.

I glared, what gave her the right to decide for us?

It gets so annoying.

~Haruhi's POV~

"What's with the glare, Kyon?" I asked and he intensified it. Why's he getting so worked up?

"What the hell gives you the right to decided if we're ready or not to order?" He hissed.

I blinked, "because I'm the brigade leader."

"Oh. Right," he said, sarcastically, and I glared. "Because you're the brigade leader you get to boss everyone around! _And _torture Ms. Asahina!"

I snapped, "why the hell are you bringing Mikuru into this? She's my plaything I can do what I want with her!"

He stood up, "that doesn't give you a fucking right! You're just a bossy little kid who doesn't know when to stop!"

I stood up, "I still don't see why the hell you're getting worked up! If _you _were ready to order, you could've just done so!"

His words hurt, but I won't let him see that. Itsuki looked at both of us, stunned.

"I'm getting worked up because you are just a little bitch who complains and bosses everyone the hell around! You just do what you want, and before you know it, guess what? You'll become an asshole nobody likes!" He shouted, and I stared, shocked.

I can't believe he just said that. I can't believe it.

I shook my head, at utter loss for words.

"Haruhi," Itsuki said, and frowned. "Wait for me outside. I still have to pay."

I nodded, sadly, and walked out.

Why?

Why does this always happen?

~Kyon's POV~

"You're an idiot," Itsuki pointed out, and put the money on the table. "An utter idiot."

He then walked out, leaving me there.

What did I just say?

She deserved it right?

I decided to just go home for the day. No use staying anymore, is there?

Why did I say that? It's her fault, right?

Why did that just happen?

I couldn't stop asking myself those questions.

This is terrible.

~Haruhi's POV~

I can't believe I'm crying.

"Haruhi," Itsuki said when he reached me, and I cried onto him.

This is so stupid.

"Shh. It's okay," he patted my back.

I'm so dumb.

After minutes of crying, I stopped.

"Ugh," I groaned. "Sorry."

He looked at me, confused. "It's not your fault."

I looked up at him, and he smiled slightly. "I want to go to the bathroom to clean up." He nodded, and followed me.

"I'll wait right here," he said as I walked inside.

Nobody's in this bathroom. That's good. I reached into my purse and pulled out my pocket knife. Pushing up my yellow sleeve, I smiled sadly. I have _got_ to quit. And sliced.

This isn't right.

After about 20 minutes, or longer. I don't know. I cleaned up the blood and wrapped the scars up in toilet paper that I'd _seriously_ have to take off once I got home. Gross.

Feeling light-headed, I walked out of the bathroom.

"Suzumiya-san. Do you want to go home?" Itsuki asked, and I nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

Everything started to blur once I took not but one step.

"Suzumiya-san? Suzumiya-san!" I heard Itsuki's faint voice yell out, and I fell on the ground on my knees.

"Uhh?" I mumbled out. He frowned.

"You look pale. Here. Get on my back. I'll take you home," he said, worried.

I frowned, "what?"

"Please get on. Now."

My brain possibly wasn't working right, because I climbed onto his back.

He moved slowly, making sure I was on securly and then walked.

I frowned into his back.

This is so stupid, but my face feels really heated up...

So.. Stupid...

**jer290390844-1329=324909-_ (_ )(( )(#(!)(((((((#)#))#_((#)I(#)(#)))#()_JOSIHJ(NDHIDM H**

**Sorry guys. I'm kind of back. Because I am **_**not **_**going to stay here for too long. It ruins the promise I made myself the day that it happened. It may seem stupid to hold a grudge or whatever. And I ensure I'll get over it. But still, I'm gonna stay true to my promise to myself. So basically in a short story, that's what happened for me to get grounded.**

**Anywho. Reviews~**

**User 627- I'm relieved then... I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Flickering Ember- XD My parents are kinda uptight, they once yelled at me for a C+ in an elective class =w= Not my fault that Sports History crap is hard to remember! And yes. Netflix had Soul Eater and Squid Girl which was so awesome! I need to finish the latter though X3 Thanks for the review and hope you enjoyed!**

**Hippywippy- Easier to read? Hmm... I'll try? But what do you mean? Longer paragraphs? Less description-like descriptions? But I'm glad that you liked it! And thank you for reviewing!**

**Anyway. I have to go update the other ones so I guess those'll have to be up tomorrow... Or later DX**

**Jane~**


End file.
